One Way or Another Read online

  Breathing out slowly, Bethany nodded. “Accepted.”

  Their food was delivered, but Bethany’s appetite had deserted her. She and Jessica were poles apart, and there was no glossing over that fact now. For all her outward beauty, there was something cold and snooty inside Jessica, and those were not characteristics Bethany wanted in a partner.

  She picked at her food while they made desperate small talk, and it was easy to call for the bill as soon as Jessica had finished cleaning her plate.

  “Was the food not good?” the waiter asked as he reached for Bethany’s half-empty plate.

  “It was lovely,” she said sincerely, “I just wasn’t as hungry as I thought. Sorry.”

  He smiled and cleared the table, returning with the bill moments later.

  “Bethany,” Jessica began, but she raised a hand.

  “Jessica, it’s been great to catch up with you again, but I think… Well, we’re very different people, and I think we both know this isn’t going to work.”

  Jessica slumped in her chair. “I know,” she said, her voice not much more than a whisper.

  Bethany pulled cash from her purse and laid it on the small dish which held the bill. Strangely, she felt good. Strong, and proud of herself for not pursuing something that in reality had not at all lived up to the fantasy she’d held in her mind for years.

  Jessica added her money to the total, and they stood, in silence, and walked out of the restaurant.

  “Goodbye, Bethany,” Jessica said, not meeting her eyes. “I wish you well.”

  “And you,” Bethany said, but she was already talking to Jessica’s back as she marched up the road in the opposite direction from the Tube. Whichever way home she was taking, she wasn’t taking it with Bethany, and that was just fine.

  With a lightness in her step and a rueful grin, Bethany walked in the other direction towards the station.

  At least she’d tried, and at least she would never wonder what if.

  Chapter 10

  “Well, it’s a shame that Jessica turned out to be such a snob,” Alice said as she passed Bethany her cappuccino, “but at least you learned that pretty quickly.”

  “Yes, that’s true.” Bethany reached for the plastic knife and cut the sticky cinnamon bun in two. They were at the Starbucks near where Alice worked; Bethany had gone there straight from the school, and her mum was currently on a break so they could catch up. Bethany wasn’t sure what she’d do if she didn’t have her level-headed mum to talk things through with.

  “And you have a lunch date with Sarah tomorrow, yes?”

  Bethany nodded and passed her mum the other half of the bun. “Part of me thinks it’s too soon after the disaster that was Tuesday night, but…”

  Alice shrugged. “It’s not like you have any lingering thoughts of Jessica to get in the way, other than knowing she’s not the one for you. I say go for it.”

  Bethany let out a breath, and her mum tilted her head.

  “What, love?”

  “I didn’t think it would be this hard. Which I know is completely unrealistic,” she said as her mum made to interrupt. “But I was feeling so confident about getting out there again. I know, or at least I thought I knew, what I want, and I was all fired up to go get it.” She shook her head. “But the reality of trying to find it is, well, sort of demoralising.”

  “Oh, come on,” Alice huffed. “You’ve only been on two dates with two women. Things like this don’t happen overnight, and you’re smart enough to know that, aren’t you?”

  “Well, sorry, but you set such a high bar.” Bethany smirked at her mother, then frowned when Alice looked confused. “You know, you and Dad, the amazing overnight romance, blah blah blah.”

  Alice’s eyes popped wide and then she laughed out loud. “Oh, no! Is that what you’ve been thinking all these years?”

  Now it was Bethany’s turn to be confused. “You mean, it wasn’t? But I thought—”

  “Oh, Bethany.” Alice was still chuckling. “Your dad was a prat the first time I met him. I dated several other men before I agreed to see him again. Then he was different, and then I fell in love with him.” She shook her head. “Have you been thinking all this time that we had the perfect romance?”

  Bethany nodded. “Well, of course! You two were amazing together, and you always told me there wasn’t anyone else for you, and…”

  “Yes, after we got together and he proved he was worth it. Before then, he annoyed the hell out of me, quite frankly.” Alice leaned forward and patted her hand. “There’s no such thing as perfect, love. If you’re lucky, you find someone who ticks most of your boxes and then you work on the rest together. That’s what your dad and I did, and yes, we were very, very happy. I want that for you too, but you are going to have to work for it, okay?”

  Bethany didn’t know what to say. All her life she’d idolised what her parents had. To learn now that it hadn’t been that instant, just-like-in-the-movies love was a shock. At the same time, she found a measure of comfort in her mum’s words. If it had worked for her parents in such spectacular fashion, maybe there was hope for her yet.

  Throngs of people crowded the pavement that edged the south bank of the Thames, and Sarah wove her way between them as fast as she could. There was no way she wanted to be late. Bethany giving her a second chance was important, and she was determined to make it count.

  She laughed at herself. This all still felt very strange. When Bethany had messaged her on Wednesday morning to confirm that their date was going ahead, she’d actually danced a few steps of delight across the office. Thankfully not in Roy’s presence. So, Bethany had not fallen in love with the amazing Jessica from her past. Or, at least, not yet.

  Her steps slowed. Shit, I didn’t think of that. What if Bethany hasn’t quite written things off with that woman, and is just going out with me today as a sort of test, or for comparison purposes, or even worse, as some kind of pity date?

  She gazed out at the brown waters beside her as wavelets rippled across the river’s surface in the wake of the multitude of craft out on its centre.

  I’m getting all excited for this date and it might not be at all what I think it is.

  A glance at her watch told her she had fifteen minutes to make it to the restaurant, and she was only five minutes away, so she continued at a slower pace, her thoughts racing.

  Maybe I should just ask her, outright, as soon as we meet. Or would that put her off again, if I was that forthright up front?

  Bloody hell, this dating business was a nightmare. No wonder she’d never really bothered with it before. She chuckled—she could almost hear Jonathan’s eyes rolling at her for that thought.

  You know what? Fuck it. I’ve got every right to ask what this is, and to make sure things are clear between us.

  Mind made up, she squared her shoulders, upped her pace again, and strode off towards the restaurant. There was no sign of Bethany when she arrived, but she was still early. Their table was ready though, so she followed the waitress to it and sat down, laying her napkin on her lap and taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. She hated that she was nervous, a state of being she didn’t often find herself in.

  She reached for the menu and perused it while she waited. There were a number of items that had her mouth watering. Hell, even if Bethany didn’t show, she’d stay and eat.

  “Hi, Sarah.”

  Bethany’s voice was low, but still Sarah nearly jumped out of her skin. How had she not seen or heard her approach?

  “Bethany.” She stood, and then wasn’t sure why she had. It wasn’t like she could give Bethany a kiss hello or anything, so she sat quickly, her cheeks burning. Come on, Connolly, get a grip. “Welcome,” she said, pleased when her voice came out strong and clear. “Have a seat. You look lovely.”

  And she did. Bethany was wearing cropped jeans that finished
just below her knees with a big turn-up, deck shoes, and a loose cotton shirt in a pale green colour that beautifully complemented the colour of her hair.

  Bethany smiled and eased into the chair opposite. “Thank you. So do you.” She tilted her head. “You looked surprised to see me just now.”

  Sarah responded without thinking. “Well, yes, a little. I did wonder if you would show.”

  Bethany winced and sat back in her chair. “Wow. Okay.”

  Sarah shrugged. “You had a date with this amazing woman from your past. Forgive me if I can’t help wondering what’s going on.”

  Puffing out a breath, Bethany relaxed her posture. “Fair enough.” She looked away and sighed before turning back to Sarah. “The date with Jessica was…disappointing, to say the least. She’s a shallow snob who thought I could have done so much better for myself.”

  “What?” Sarah’s eyes went wide. “How rude.”

  Bethany chuckled. “Yes, it was. I couldn’t get away quick enough,” she said, and laughed.

  “Oh, dear. I am sorry, but I’m also not, if you see what I mean.” Sarah grinned.

  “I do. And although it made me sad to discover she wasn’t at all the person I thought she was, I’m glad I found that out quickly.”

  “I bet.”

  The waitress appeared, and they placed their orders, along with a glass of wine each and a bottle of water to share.

  “So, in answer to your earlier question, what’s going on is that I am now on a date with you. She is forgotten. This…” Bethany said, leaning forward slightly, “is us seeing if the good things we shared a couple of weeks ago can, I don’t know, become something.”

  There was a mild sensation of panic in Sarah’s stomach at Bethany’s words, but it was quickly tamped down by the happier thought that this was, indeed, a full date with no hidden agendas.

  Sarah raised her wineglass. “I can drink to that,” she said, smiling, and hoping her nerves would settle soon so she could eat.

  Bethany returned the smile and chinked her glass against Sarah’s. Her eyes held Sarah’s captive as they sipped.

  “So how has school been the past couple of weeks?” she asked. “You finish soon, don’t you?”

  “Yes, three weeks to go. I’m definitely on the wind down, I think.”

  “I don’t know how you do it.” Sarah smiled. “I certainly wouldn’t have the patience.”

  Bethany chuckled. “Yes, it really does need to be something you’ve always wanted to do, I think. Even then, the reality can be a little shocking.”

  “I’m sure it can! So it’s really what you always wanted to do?”

  “It really is. When I was a child I used to line my dolls up in class formation and read to them.”

  “That’s brilliant, I can just imagine it! How cute.” She finished with one of her flirtiest smiles. Bethany’s answering blush triggered an indescribable feeling way down in Sarah’s belly, and a deep smile spread across her face.

  Their food arrived, and as they ate they chatted about the restaurant, Gabriel’s Wharf in general, and the areas in which each of them lived.

  “Oh, you’re so lucky to be near water,” Bethany exclaimed before tucking another forkful of risotto into her mouth.

  “Yeah, I love it. It’s best at night, or really early in the morning. I love watching the birds as they start their days, scurrying around for food, or nesting material if it’s that time of year. And at night, it’s just so calm out there, but you can still hear the water, because it’s always on the move in some way or other. Sometimes I just sit out on my deck with a glass of wine and listen.”

  Bethany was gazing at her in unabashed appreciation and something warm curled its way outwards from Sarah’s belly to the rest of her body.

  “You are very beautiful,” she murmured, allowing her gaze to roam just a little, down the line of Bethany’s neck, laid bare by the open collar of her shirt, to the hint of cleavage that poked through from the wide V of the shirt.

  “I… Thank you,” Bethany croaked, blushing again. “You’re gorgeous.”

  The words were a whisper, and it wasn’t the first time anyone had said them to her, but this time they settled somewhere deep inside Sarah and lit a fire down low in her belly.

  They stared at each other for a few moments, the air full of a sweet, delicious tension. Bethany broke it, in the end, swallowing hard and looking back down at the remains of her risotto before digging her fork in once again. Sarah returned to her pasta, her heart thudding.

  “So, what else are you up to this weekend? And what’s a regular weekend look like for you?”

  Bethany smiled, and Sarah thought she detected a hint of relief that they were back to a safe subject.

  “Well, every weekend usually involves baking something.” She smiled shyly. “I’m a bit of a bakeaholic, if that’s a word.”

  “It is now. You can claim it.” Sarah sipped the last of her wine. “So what do you bake?”

  Bethany shrugged. “All sorts. Biscuits, cakes, muffins, quiches. You name it, I bake it. Not bread so much, as I don’t actually eat a lot of it, but I often make it in the winter to go with soups.”

  Sarah shook her head. “I’m impressed. I do cook, and I do okay with things like stir fries and curries. Oh, and barbecue. I am one mean barbecue chef, let me tell you.” She smiled as Bethany laughed. “But baking is definitely not my thing.”

  “I just find it really relaxing and satisfying. I share most of what I make either with my family—my mum in particular—or with my fellow teachers. They’re very appreciative.”

  “Well, yes, if you’re bringing them free baked stuff every week, I’m sure they would be.”

  Bethany laughed.

  They talked more about weekends, discovering a shared love of a few TV programmes, and for cheese.

  “Oh, yeah, cheese is my kryptonite,” Sarah said ruefully. “I really have to ration myself. I…I put on quite a bit of weight a few years back, so I’m careful with what I eat now that I’ve lost it all, and cheese goes straight to my hips if I’m not.” It was sort of nervy, admitting that little bit of her past. She never talked about that kind of thing with her dates, usually because she was only concerned with the present, and getting women into her bed in the shortest amount of time possible. It was refreshing, actually conversing with someone first.

  Sarah had to be honest and realistic with herself—getting Bethany into bed was still a goal, as always. But even as she had that thought, something squirmed inside her, leaving her feeling as if she’d not quite chewed that last bit of pasta properly before swallowing.

  When they’d finished eating, they ordered coffees and took their time drinking them, both clearly unwilling to end the date.

  “So do you like your job?” Bethany asked. “I mean, you told me you’re a lawyer for a brokerage firm in the City, but you never actually said whether you like it.”

  Sarah surprised herself yet again when she waggled her hand in front of her in the universal gesture for “so-so”. Her stock answer to that question was usually a robotic, “Yes, of course” before a swift change of subject.

  “Explain,” Bethany said. It was quirk of hers that was rapidly growing on Sarah, a tendency to use minimal words for key questions.

  Sarah exhaled. “It’s hard to explain, actually. It’s not like I dread going in to work every morning. I’m always curious as to what the day will bring me.”

  She’d never told anyone any of this. Why couldn’t she stop her mouth from talking? It was as if the part of her that held the normal routines and instructions had been replaced by a new handbook she’d had no time to read.

  “I guess it’s simply that I’m not practising the type of law I always dreamed of.” She let out a half-laugh, half-snort. “When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a lawyer. I watched so many crime dramas o
n TV, and I wanted to be the one that got the guilty put away and saved the wrongly-accused from jail.” She shrugged, and the sympathy in Bethany’s eyes was nearly her undoing; the lump in her throat was so sudden she only just swallowed it down before anything embarrassing happened. “Corporate law for brokerage seems so very far from that dream.”

  “So why did you choose corporate law, rather than criminal?”

  “My…father.” She hesitated over the word; the background to that could definitely wait for another day. “He can be very persuasive. I think he genuinely worried about what criminal law might do to my mental health. He’s a corporate lawyer too, so although he was thrilled I followed in his footsteps, he worked very hard to lure me away from the criminal side of things.”

  Bethany reached across the table and placed her hand on Sarah’s. Her eyes were wide, as if she herself couldn’t quite believe she was being so bold. It touched Sarah, and she smiled.

  “I suppose I can understand why he did,” Bethany said softly. “But it does seem a shame that you didn’t get to live your dream.”

  Sarah didn’t have a response to that, and was alarmed at the hint of moisture pricking at the corners of her eyes, so she quickly waved over the waiter and asked for the bill.

  It was strange how rapidly the atmosphere had shifted when they’d started talking about Sarah’s work. Bethany didn’t want to push what seemed a sore subject, but at the same time she did want to know why Sarah had pretty much sprinted them out of the restaurant and back into the afternoon sunshine.

  “Sarah, are you okay?”

  She nodded but wouldn’t meet Bethany’s eye. “I’m fine. It’s lovely out here, isn’t it?”

  There was a tightness to her voice that Bethany couldn’t read, and without giving it a second’s thought, she reached out and tugged on Sarah’s arm.

  Sarah turned to face her, but her expression was closed off, her gaze still not meeting Bethany’s, and her arm twitched beneath Bethany’s fingers.